"The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be." - Marcel Pagnol

Mouseish
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Name: C.T.
Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States
Gender: Male


Interests: Biking, Unicycling, Button Games, Computer Work
Expertise: Systems Administration and Annoying Client Tolerance.
Occupation: day: sysadmin night: button


Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM: TheLegendofMouse
Jabber: SingleHopMouse [office AIM. not jabber]


Member Since: 2/6/2004

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Someone shit on the coats!
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Michigan City High School Students
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Purdue University
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juggling, unicycling, pretty much the circus
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HHS DDR Club
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Kill Hannah
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Coffee Tyme Kids Assemble!!!
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it's okay. we ALL stalk mat devine.
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Thursday, May 23, 2013

<3

would you be my best friend if I offered you my heart?

'cause its already yours.


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Texas

N matter if I'm flying or simply a passenger...a single engine 2 seat aircraft you can lift ff the ground with 4 friends or a giant commercial jet off to another part of the country...I'm usually so excited to get on a plane.  

Not this time.   I am very sad to be on this particular plane.  It left Austin, TX about 20 minutes ago en route to Chicago...the place I call home.    I feel so much more alive in Texas to be honest.   That mixed with the insane amount of things that I did with the Texas bemani kids, it was such a great trip and I'm already missing everyone, everything, each event and every vague thought relating to the past 5 days.

When I landed on Thursday afternoon, I knew I was in for a good time, but I had no idea to what extent.  JONZ picked me up from the airport and we headed back to his place where we immediately played beet and pop'n for a while until Crissy and Biggle.   Shortly after that, JON's girlfriend showed up and I met her as well.  Girls in TX play pop'n and beet its so weird since no one but guys play in Chicago it seems.  We hung out for a while there, but made our way out to Conan's for pizza Texas Chicago style (lol I know, right?) and then to UFO to pick up Nym.   Nym was someone that no one knew until he started hanging out in our IRC channel a month or two ago.  Anyway, he came to this to hang out with everyone and meet people and every other word he said all weekend was a bemani pun.  It was so fabulous. (ha).   After picking him up from UFO and having the opportunity to look around the arcade for a bit, we all headed over to Rico's place.   I met the guy behind the private beet, pop'n and DDR machines in Austin and we spent some time hanging out there bullshitting and meeting each other.   I had to try fixing his IIDX PC since his basement flooded a few days prior, but after a good rubbing alcohol rinse and reassembly, the board started up and ran on Friday morning.   After that, we went to get snow cones which unknowing to me would become a major part of this trip.  The next meal in Austin was a pancake house that was aimed at the 20-something age group.  It was very delicious and I had a full stomach when we headed back t Rico's to crash.   

On Friday, Nym and I hung out pretty much all day in Rico's basement playing beet since everyone worked, but after 5PM when everyone got home, we did a lot of fun shit.   Momo and my buddy Justin (from Indiana years before, now Houston) came to town and a girl from Houston that was really really good at beet visited at Rico's.  We played some beet, went out to Salt Lick so I could get same Texas style BBQ (which let me tell you, hooooly shit) and then came back to the house to play more beet and DDR while having a few beers with those that came to visit that day.

Saturday was a day of preparation for the big party celebrating my visit.  Rico's mom made breakfast for everyone that was staying at the house and it was amazing.   I see why everyone loves her lmao. After breakfast, Rico and I went with Simon and bought serial adapters fr the beet card readers and then went to get snow cones again.   When we got back to the house, danadam and breadface were already there and I got to meet each of those well known names in the bemani world.   Shortly after meeting those two, everyone started arriving and a slew of social beer drinking beet playing popn failing events took place.   It was a whole lot f fun and most of the evening we saw at least 8 eamuse cards lined up on beet waiting to play.  Everyone in TX is really sirius about their beet playing :>.   Things wrapped up at around 3am and Justin left early on Sunday morning.  

All afternoon Sunday was hanging out with Rico JON, nym and simon.  Honestly, I forget everything we did, but we went to UFO and got snow cones AGAIN.  We probably played beet too.  I played a couple rounds of popn and technika at UFO which proved to be expensive but necessary for the day.  We also went up to pinballz and saw this giant arcade with about 100 pinball tables and 250 cabinets.   It was pretty insane and I'd love to hang there a bit, but each game is 75 cents to $1 and you'd go broke in a heartbeat there.   I'm spoiled on Chicago's 25 cent pinball heh.   After that, Rico had some shit to do, so Simon JONZ and I went to UFO again and then a place called Big Bite for food.  Fuck that place.   It is the most terrible fr you food ever.   I got a sandwich with BBQ chicken, french fries, mozz sticks and beef on it.   That's it.  It was terrible but I had to try it.   Once I died at that place, we went to Simons for a bit and then back to Rico's where we hung out and then saw off Nym when he left that night.

Monday was all about Momo and going to Killeen to visit him.  We planned to leave at 11AM but whelp, TX.   At 2:30 we got ready to go, so JONZ Rico and I jumped in the car, picked up Stephi and went.  Speaking of which, I was starting to think I wouldn't have a chance to meet her.  She was rather entertaining and made the day trip to Killeen pretty fun.  She gave me melonpan which unfortunately I left in Rico's car :<.  I really wanted to eat that, dammit.  We stopped at Sonic and a used PC place for a DDR PC before leaving Austin, but a carrying tray of rt 44 Sonic beverages, 75 minutes, 60 miles and one speeding ticket later, we arrived at Momo's.    There, we played a bit of DDR and DrumMania before heading to an asian buffet for food and getting snow cones (yup) after that.   I had to make some stops that I knew I'd regret if I didnt, so they took us all to Momo's dad's booze shop.   I finally got to see the place that Momo spent days on end at working and talking on IRC all day last summer.   Damn was it ghetto lol :>.  After that, we went back to Momo's and smoked a bunch of hookah and just sat around the table the five of us talking about random shit and what we've all done the past few days.   It was such a cool way to wrap up the trip.   I love things like that almost more than the giant parties when you can't really talk to anyone because its loud and drunk.  After we got back to Austin, we went to UFO and then got burgers before heading back to Ricos.  The rest of the night was just hanging with Rico and JON getting ready for the next morning where I had to leave :<

Tuesday I basically woke up, wet to ihop with Rico and JON and then went to the airport after failing 7 dan for the last time.   Good times.

I really want to thank everyone for your hospitality, friendliness, taking the time out to show me the city and things to do and overall having an awesome time.    I really can't wait to hang out with all of you again!

 


Monday, March 11, 2013

Break away...from the ordinary

Today I woke up at 4:30AM for some reason.   I tried and tried, but I could not go back to sleep.    I decided after an hour that I should make use of this time.   Typically (and for the last 3 years or so), my alarm goes off at 6:45AM and I wake up, take a quick shower and then leave for work arriving just minutes before (or sometimes after) my starting time of 8AM.   

I realized this morning while trying to get back to sleep that I make habits with almost everything I do.  I break away from the routines once every few months to go to a convention or concert and then I have fun but end up right back in the same rut where I feel like a zombie that is just going through motions.   I've got to change that.  

I do a lot aside from work and sleep.   I don't mean that sort of repetition, but I mean that typically I wake up, go directly to work, directly home, work on [current project or hobby] have a couple beers and go to bed.   I occasionally hang with friends on the weekends and I talk to the same friends on IRC all week, but that isn't really breaking away from the typical routine and I've found that the longer you keep a routine like that, the harder it is to break.

Today I decided out of the blue to grab my bike and go get breakfast in the opposite direction of my office.   It was such a small deviation from my day to day routine, but I can't help feeling 500% more alive than I would sitting on the bus on my way to the office as I do every other day.  I ate my typical breakfast order...typical for those few times I do go out for breakfast I mean.   I just enjoyed the change and now I'm at my office an hour early after a nice bike ride and meal.

I need to remember to do this more often...but still randomly :>


Saturday, December 22, 2012

New heart for xmas 9

New heart is over which means christmas is all thats left for the year. I realized this weekend that i simply go to new heart and see khk people and kill hannah themselves not because i love it and because it is a die hard passion of mine.....but out of habit. I had a mild amount of fun at best this year. I know i said this last year, but i think this may have been my last new heart weekend. It was terribly depressing for the most part. Sad songs for sad times. Haunting shadows of past relationships making efforts to talk to me despite being well known that it isnt welcome. I asked her to fucking tell me if she was going or not and the answer i got was no. Thats the only reason i bought my ticket. Apparently i stood right next to her on friday night and no one said a word. Truthfully, i noticed a lot of tiny details of that night, but i did not notice her. Only after i was told do i know what the picture was, but i still cant paint it in my mind. I homestly believe that my mind played a trick on itself to prevent a terrible scene from playing out.

And to think id want to know shes here even?! Or want to talk with her at any rate? Just tell me, or anyone for that matter, why the hell you would want to see someone or say hi or anything for that matter.....if that person actively AND passively neglected your effort, love, concern and desire for one of your most important relationships...not once, not for a week, but progressively more and more oer the course of many months until you aimply couldnt take it anymore??? How can i put it any more clear why i dont want to see or talk to someone that has contributed significantly to a sharp decline in my confidence as a person, my happiness and my ability to even be social when in an environment that is not my own? A direct effect that still nearly a year later is still very apparent...

I asked about this concert a month and a half ago....to avoid this from happening. Guess what, it did anyway. An annual event that i have spent the last 8 years taking people very important to me to go see and having a great time with them has come to me...awkwardly standing alone watching a band i used to follow religiously, beer in one hand, phone camera in the other.....with not only no one to share what should be a happy time of year with, but of a dark neglect filled shadow of a past relationship taking what little spark of a good time that could be left in the bottom of the NHFX barrel and blowing it out.

Race the dream
Believer
From now on
Goodnight goodbye
Hyperactive
Crazy angel
He believes in time machines
Love you to death
Songs that saved my life
Black poison blood
Strobe lights
Under pressure
New heart for christmas
Kennedy
---
Promise me
Its christmas time
Lips like morphine
Welcome to chicago motherfucker

"girls do terrible things to guys hearts...and we write pretty songs about it....well or some guys kill themselves, others just start drinking a lot" - mat devine 12-22-2012


Sunday, December 09, 2012

Anime crossroads

Wow, ive gor post con blues so hard right now. Im just sitting on the floor in aubreys living room recovering from severe exhaustion like everyone else here is, but its been an amazing wekeend. i got in thursday night and we parties on thursday with aubreys friends and tetsuo at aubreys place in indy. Friday jeffito shouwed up with kent for surprise appearances and they both DJed the rave on saturday. seeing kent come down from purdue was awesome because he goes back to japan for good next week. One more day to hang out with that dude was cool as fuck.

The rave on saturday was absolutely out of control in all of the best ways. Between all the good music and anime vibes, im just sad to see it all end today but you know....it has to come to an end at some time or another. I walk away with great memories of music, friends and games along with a kandi that says "get<3fucked" that Tora made me before she left. I also have a souvineer pokemon kandi of hers that i will be holding onto for a very long time i think.



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